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Top Ten: Reasons You Should Quit Your Job. Even In This Shitty Economy

February 5, 2009

10. The weird guy that sits accross from you who has no friends has now become your only friend in the office.

9. Going to staff meetings on mushrooms just isn’t as fun as it used to be.

8. You are constantly thinking of new ways to fuck over your boss; including feeding him top secret information about the Chinese government and then sticking him in a room with a pissed off Jack Bauer.

7. You’ve already used up all of your paid time off for 2009.

6. Once March Madness starts you are going to have to focus on that shitty bracket of yours full time if you want any sort of income.

5.  Face it, catching up on your TiVo and Netflix was your retirement plan in the first place so why not get a head start.

4. Your buddy that got laid off tells you how many times he’s jerked off in a day and as much as it creeps you out, it makes you jealous that you can’t do the same thing.

3.  She may have been 18, but sooner or later John from accounting is gonna find out what you did with his “little girl” on bring your daughter to work day and his once boring stories about hunting will turn into an episode of Dateline faster than you blew your load on his daughter.

2.  Things could always be worse.  You could be Barry Bonds.

1.  Quitting now will save you the embarrassment of getting shit-canned later on because face it, we are all fucked!


-Joe Pep-

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