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Now what?

March 21, 2011

Las Vegas always suits me well because it compliments my personality and demeanor.  A city that never sleeps, over the past five nights I have slept a total of ten hours.  Beyond exhaustion at this point, as I sit in the airport waiting for my red eye flight back to Indy, I am just trying to make sense of all this.  I was hoping that Vegas would clear my head and put me in the right state of mind as I head into the home stretch in Btown.  Denver is right around the corner, but I’ve got other things on my mind.  Something is nagging at me constantly and part of me wants to just ditch this flight and stay in vegas for a few more days and then who knows.  Its crucial for me to be back in Bloomington to meet with restaurant owners, and set up great eat cheap deals for the rest of the semester.  In the same sense, I have that burnt out feeling and for those of you that have been to Vegas, realize its more stressful than an actual vacation.  At this point I cannot say that I have any interest in going back to Bloomington.  I have to escape this college bubble as soon as possible before I go insane.  I also have to prioritize what I really want to do with my life.  I feel like a professional babysitter as of late, and being on call 24/7 is just going to lead to me dropping dead of a heart attack by 30.  Life is crazy, and this is the time when the dominos all have to fall.  Rolling with the punches is all that I can do, but they are all beginning to take a toll.  Vegas made me realize that time is precious and I am never able to live in the moment and be happy.  I won some money and it didn’t feel gratifying whatsoever.  I used to think money buys you happiness because it leads to freedom, but what is freedom when nobody else in the universe knows what you are thinking any time of the day.  I have to escape this island somehow, and it has to be fast.

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